Ready.....Steady......No!!

Well after doing all my pages first I thought i might struggle with my first post on here. But after the day i had on Monday I should have something i can talk about!!

In the words of my daughter Bella - "Ready...Steady...No!!" pretty much sums that day up!

The thought of doing a blog had crossed my mind a few times over the past year or so but I always managed to put myself off the idea. I thought people wouldn't read it or might think its silly but after a slight push from a friend i thought sod it, I will do it! Hopefully it might help someone who needs a question answering maybe. But bearing in mind I'm not a person to moan about my health, i just get on with it so it was rather odd writing about it with the thought of people possibly reading it.

So basically I'm 25, have a 2 year old daughter, have Cystic Fibrosis and am on the transplant list waiting for either a lung transplant or heart and lung.

Yesterday i got my first "call" as such from the transplant team at 5.30am. I didn't answer the phone at first, due to being half asleep and confused as to why i was being blinded by my phone at half 5 in the sodding morning! I called the number back and was told there was a donor available for me. Like a spare car part or something. I cried and starting typically coughing at the same time, not easy when your trying to have a conversation on the phone! I was told to get ready and there would be a car outside my house to take me to the hospital at 6.15. I told Kierran (my partner) and he quickly rang his mum who then got sorted to come and look after Bella. After obviously panicking I got my things together and gave Bella lots of hug before leaving in the ambulance. I was told we didn't need to rush yet so it would just be a steady drive. Until we hit 3 lots of traffic, then the lights and sirens were put on which i did enjoy (just a tad!).

On arrival I was greeted and shown to my bed. Then bloods were taken and various other tests were done, all of which came back fine. I was then told that the tests were being done on the organs to see if they were suitable for transplant and it was just a case of waiting to hear back.

Kierran finally turned up at that point as he was about half hour behind due to him waiting for his mum to arrive. We were told there had been some delays in the testing, and once one person makes a delay then it backs the whole process up. They thought it would be around midday till we would have an answer if the lungs were suitable.

So I waited and waited then waited a bit more. They were very confident it would be a good outcome. My Dr came and signed consent forms and an anaesthetist was sent to see me so I was ready to be taken to theatre straightaway if the lungs were good stock!

At 2pm I was finally told I would be going home. The lungs on final review weren't good enough due to some damage at the bottom, so they were not given the go ahead. I was upset and annoyed. I was also shocked that i was upset and annoyed. All i wanted, the whole time I was there was to go home to my little girl and get some sleep. I was physically and mentally exhausted. Waiting that long had made me get my head around it (just about) so it was mixed emotions when they said no.

So it was back home and back to waiting again. At least I had a test run in some respect and i got further then i thought I would. I didn't think if I got a call I would be able to go through with it.

So by the end of it the day was pretty crappy, but got to carry on and keep my fingers crossed that next time it would be a better outcome. I'm not quite sure i could cope mentally going through that over and over!

The past couple of days i have been totally out of sync so I'm now trying to get back on track. So on that note i will finish this post for the time being.

To be continued........