I thought i would do a page on becoming/being a Cf mum. Hope it answers any questions if any for any fellow Cf sufferes considering having a baby etc.
Well i never in a million years thought i would have someone calling me "mummy". Even now after 2 years it still seems so surreal and bizarre. I guess for any "healthy" mother it all seems so fast and unreal but even more so for someone who thought they never could/would have children.
For years i had never really wanted children. I think todays world isnt the best place for a child and it would be difficult for them especially if i wasnt around to be there for them. (just to be slightly morbid)
I wasnt exactly planning on having a baby obviously but i realised how happy i was after having done 3 pregnancy tests. I was excited but petrified at the same time. The first thing i was worried about was telling people. I knew friends and family would be happy and worried but my main worry was telling my nurse and Dr. Although i cheated and got kierran to tell my nurse and then in turn she told my Dr.,but i wish i had prepped kierran before he made the call because i dont think "bun in the oven" was the right term to use in this case.
The next day i went to cf clinic in the morning which was arranged at the last minute. Kelly (my cousin) came with me to "hold my hand" as such.All aspects were discussed including dangers to me, dangers to the baby and what life would/could be like after. My health at the time wasnt ideal whatsoever for having a baby and it wouldnt be a straight forward pregnancy.I was told i had to think about what i wanted to do.
Due to my menstrual cycle not being regular due to regular weight fluctuation i had no idea how far along into the pregnancy i was. So a scan was arranged asap with a specialist at the royal. Dr khare was great and reassuring from the first time i met her. i was scanned and 2 sacks were found but one was empty due to the baby not forming.The other of course was fine and at a gestation of over 7 weeks. I did worry there was a chance of having twins as my mother was a twin.Slight relief of course that it wasnt!!
Shorlty after that we were sent to genetics to have bloods done to see what the chances of the baby having cf
would be. The results were good,and i cant remember the exact number but it was around one in 200 odd chance of the baby having cf. This helped in my decision as what to do. It would have been impossible to look after an ill baby,yet alone a healthy one!
So after a few weeks of getting all results and many many discussions with kierran, family, and medical peeps we decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. I knew deep down that all would be ok.
On returning back from our holiday in july my chest and general well being went abit rubbish so i was admitted straightaway. My dr wanted to keep a close eye on me,so as soon as i felt the slightest bit "off" i would see him and my trusty nurse bernie! I started IV antibiotics straight away, although they had to be careful which ones i had, and i stayed in hospital for about 8 weeks. I had some time off antibiotics during pregnancy but near the end i was on them all the way till the day before i popped.
I was having scans approx every 4 weeks and all was fine during the pregnancy with baby. I had clinic there every 4 weeks also and had to attend diabetic clinic also.i was practically living at both hospitals.
Being pregnant didnt really have much impact on my health luckily. The heavy load of antibitotics i was on mostly during was more of a precaution. If i had gone dramatically down hill it would of been hard to treat me and not have any toll on the baby, so i was very lucky in that respect that i did so well.
It was arranged with my baby dr and 2 anaethetists to have a c section at approx 36 weeks. By 30 weeks i was starting to get more worn out as my baby bump was slightly larger then i had expected and of course causes pressure on the lungs. I was booked in and was admitted the night before.
All went to plan (well sort of-my waters broke at 5.30am so my daughter caused me extra pain for no reason) and Annabella was born on 6th Jan 2009 6lb1.5 ounces!!
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| Annabella approx an hour old |
Having a baby is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I often feel guilty for sometimes not being able to do everything or not doing more. I get help during the weekdays from carers who come and relief me for an hour and half here and there so i can rest and do my meds etc. Now that Bella is 2 she is at playgroup twice a week for a few hours and then nursery on a friday for half a day. This also gives me much needed rest!
Its hard being ill and trying to look after a child but i wouldnt change it for the world.Its amazing and theres nothing like the love you get from your child, Bella doesnt know any different (as yet), and even with my oxygen tube running all over the house she manages to unknowingly lift her foot when it gets caught round her ankles so she doesnt trip. I want her to have a normal life where possible,so hopefully i will get my transplant and carry on giving her all i can.
